generation gap part 1

at my church it was easy to forget there is a generation gap.  after all, for the longest time it was a bunch of folks over 50 and me.  i do believe they put up with my eccentricities (ie. me taking off my shoes and going barefoot sometimes) and to be honest i quite like the quiet, the slow pace, and the fact that everyone knew me and looked out for me.  for me, my church feels like family.  we can argue and bicker.  disagree.  have a spat, but in the end we all come together to worship the Lord, praise God, and do His work.  & we can have fun doing it too.

but, over the past year we have been focussing on encouraging new people to attend our church.  & these new people have often been in the under 40 set and they have had children as well.  i would say it's been difficult for the seniors to have the young people (both adults and children) in their midst.  my church has begun to witness the generation gap.

i read the most interesting thing yesterday (well, last week now) about generation gaps and the church.  i especially enjoyed it because i could turn it into a diagram.  i love diagrams.  i'll type it out first so that you can read it in full and then i'll do the diagram.

"...take the words believe, behave, and belong.  It used to be that when someone approached the church we worked them to ensure they got their beliefs correct (they would be like ours), that they knew how they should behave (like we did) and when they had mastered these things, or at least created the impression they had, they were deemed worthy of belonging (like us)....now, however, people first seek a place of genuine community where they feel they belong.  If they do not experience this first and foremost, the other does not get a nod.  Please wish to belong first; then after a while they may shift some of their behaviour and, even later, perhaps exame some of their beliefs"

now for the diagram!

then

believe

|

\/

behave

|

\/

belong

that's how it used to be at churches.  first was believing, then behaving and finally feeling like you belong because you have the beliefs and know how to behave.  i think we'd like to think that churches aren't like this today, that that model is a thing of the past.  a throwback to the olden days.  but i don't think it is.  i think folks that go to church, especially small congregations where everyone knows everyone and has known everyone forever, want new people to be like them and they want them to blend in and behave properly.  when new people do both of those things then the belonging comes and boy does it come.  some congregations, especially small congregations, will surround you with love and support and friendship.  but, i think it is slow in coming.  there are barriers and people are slow to change and seeing how you could have new ideas.  i briefly attended a church where i was blocked in every direction, given no direction, and treated poorly as i was employed as sunday school co-ordinator.  it was so frustrating that i quit and returned to my previous congregation saddened by my experiences.

anyways, now moving on to the second diagram which shows what people want nowadays when they visit a new church or attend church.

now

belong

|

\/

behave

|

\/

believe

what a difference!  what a shift!  so, the question becomes; "how do churches give people that feeling of belonging right away?"  how do we offer our hand of friendship and love and support right away to children and to the under 40 age group every congregation wants to fill it's pews with?  it's a lot to think about.