so many books and so little time

what an awesome library. 
i wish the libraries i went to looked like this!

i've been spending a lot time at the library recently.  i find the library is one of the only places i will actually buckle down and do my coursework.  i take lots of breaks, but i seem to get stuff done as well.
on my breaks i wander up and down aisles.  i try to vary the aisles.  i pick whatever looks interesting and thumb through the book.  if it looks like a good one i bring it back to my table and look further.  if it's a real gooder i'll take the book home.

sometimes i will pick a specific area to browse.  the kids section.  new arrivals.  bestsellers.  mystery.  religion.  cooking.  inspirational.  large type.  fiction.  non-fiction.  each time i am astounded the amount of books there are in each section.  each time i am absolutely astounded with the amount of books that i find that i want to read.

lately, it feels like there is not enough time to read all the books i want to read.  i feel overwhelmed with my mandatory course material because i want to absorb it all and i want to remember it all.  i feel overwhelmed with everything i want to learn.  crafts.  philosophy.  theology.  cooking.  self-help.  history.  i feel overwhelmed with what i want to read for pleasure.  there are so many titles and authors i want to read. 

my aisle wanderings don't even entail a half of my book woes.  i have book upon book reserved in the library's electronic system.  i have so many reserved i have to keep some in a holding 'shelf' in the electronic system.

at home i have a whole bookshelf with mostly not read books.  i have such good intentions.  i don't even allow myself to go to bookstores or used book sales anymore.  i can't be trusted.  i bring home piles of books that i totally mean to read...but i never find the time to open their pages.  i like looking at the covers though.

the same thing happens to me at the library.  i pull book after book off the shelves and bring them home.  i so want to read them...but my success rate seems to be for every 10 books i've checked out i read 1 of them.

i don't remember feeling like this when i was younger.  i don't remember this feeling of urgency.  i don't remember feeling guilty at returning books to the library that i had not read.  i don't remember feeling overwhelmed at all my choices.  as a youngster i remember feeling calm and at home around books.  i remember feeling quite underwhelmed in that teenage underwhelming way.  i remember wanting to fill my shelves and my room with as many books as possible.  i remember loving being surrounded by books...even if i had not read them.  i remember feeling like there was all the time in the world to read the books i wanted to read.

while at the library i spend a lot of time in the children's section too.  there are so many books i want to share with my son.  i want him to grow up with a love for books.  i want him to read all the good books i read as a kid.  so far though, his favourite part about the library is picking which DVDs he wants to borrow.

in some ways i can't wait to go study because that means that i will get to peruse more aisles and see what books are out there for me.
so many books and so little time.