A Personal Rule of Life

"A rule of life gives us a way of allowing God's love to 'make us real'".  

If we really want to [spiritually] mature, we need to do three things:  (1) take stock of our spiritual life as it is now, for better or worse; (2) discern what we need in order to progress toward a deeper experience of communion with God; and (3) make choices about intentional practices we can actually live with"

Marjorie Thompson - "Making Choices:  Developing a Personal Rule of Life"

Taking Stock of My Spiritual Life

List briefly what I consider to be essential in my current life commitments & responsibilities

• Mom
• Married
• Worker
• Christian
• Friends
• Weight Loss
• I don't really get this

I don't really get the point of this part of the exercise.  My spiritual life feels broken.  I feel like I am just going through the motions - in my secular work life, my perosnal life, my home life, my spiritual life.  I always feel like I can't pray because I have nowhere to pray - every room is busy, loud, or busy.  I always feel like I can't exercise because it's too hot or Andrew is in the living room or the Living Room is too messy.  I always feel like I can't clean because I've got to make supper.  Or whatever.  I always feel like there are obstacles.  I can't pray until I have a nice prayer spot - but I can't have a prayer spot because a) I don't know what it should look like other then it involves kneeling and a clean serene room, b) I don't want to kneel, c) I don't have a nice clean serene room, and d) I keep forgetting.

How is this the deep spiritual life of a Pastor?  How is this allowing me to be open to the Divine?  How will I hear if I do not listen?  How will I do anything if I don't have the time, space, or capacity to do anything?

In short, my spiritual life is lacking, devoid, sad, immature, undeveloped, shitty, lonesome, and lacks confidence.